I'm angry that all it took was one little pill to make my life more manageable but it took seven years to find it. I'm angry that some of my issues have never been diagnosed and are untreated to this day. I am angry that every movement I make toward becoming more active again, results in a set back.

What do you do when there’s no magic cure and you will remain sick for long periods of time - maybe even all your life?

I sat on my bed, feeling like I’d just climbed Mount Everest. My heart was pumping, my whole body was shaking, and I was struggling to catch my breath. Yet all I’d done was climb up 14 steps to the first floor of my house. The last three steps I just about managed on my hands and knees before collapsing in a heap on my bed.

The fact is, I'm not mad at you for changing. I know it seems like I am. But I know it isn't your fault. It isn't your fault that we're sick and that we can't do life the way we used to. Neither one of us asked for this. And the truth is, you've handled this thing amazingly. I hate to think of where I would be had you not shown so much strength over the last seven years.

The acknowledgement of pain and its chronic existence in my life resulted in an understanding that my body, mind, and soul were undeniably connected in such a way that, if I was in need to heal of one affliction, I must be in need to heal the other.  

On the outside, I looked normal. But inside, something was obviously very wrong. Physically, I was a mess. Emotionally, I was broken.