We wrote letters for years, regularly in our early to mid teens and then less so as we got older. At 18 I moved to university and then on to varying towns and cities and though our letters became less regular the foundation had been laid.

Friendship evolves so much as you get older. It’s harder to make friends, to stay in touch with those friends, to keep nurturing and growing those friendships. Life can get in the way, despite our best efforts.

My cynicism has never served me well. Throughout my life, I was touted as two things: the mean girl or the sarcastic girl. Both labels I wore proudly.

The truth is a global pandemic brought the world to its knees and dared us to act on what we were truly seeing. I have never felt so torn to watch so-called friends fall off like flies and new ones blossom like a fresh flower.

I believe most women want to support and empower one another. Yet, sometimes we end up doing the opposite. When a girlfriend calls brokenhearted, frustrated at work, or lonely, we carefully consider what we can say to help, but forget that our questions have the power to build one another up or wear one another down. As women, are we asking each other the right questions to support one another or are we unknowingly adding to the societal pressures on women to achieve it all and achieve it in the acceptable time frame?

I find ‘go-getter’ women have the hardest time with asking for or accepting help. I run and own a successful business, employ a small team, and manage our small farm. I’m the one typically hosting events, organizing groups, and dropping off the casseroles and helping wherever needed. When someone needs something - I fix it. But why was it so damn hard when it was my turn? Pride? Ego? It's all wrapped up in there somewhere.

Many of us have friends who are friends of circumstance – the person who sits next to you at work, the mother who always arrives at child pick-up the same time as you, the girl in yoga class who hangs out near the back where you are. And due to the necessity of social convention, we keep those friends at arm’s length. As my daughter once said, "Imagine if you really tried to become true, deep friends with your neighbor and it turns out you don't like them - and then you live next to them for 25 years. It's so much easier to just smile and wave and invite them over for a birthday party." How right she is.

No matter who you are or what you do, always surround yourself with good friends. They will spot you through life’s challenges, they will give you warm companionship, and you will support them with love in return.

I wish I had learned about friendship years ago. I wish I hadn't cut people out. I wish I hadn't spent so many years feeling lost.