For over a year, I have been working with a therapist whom I have never met. Over fifty hours spent divulging to her my innermost secrets and fears, revealing so much of the rawness of who I am, and I have yet to sit in her company.

As my maternity leave ended, anxiety had officially taken control of me. Out of nowhere, I was paralyzed. I was too scared to go to work or to drop off my kid at daycare, lest an active shooter would lurk around the trees. My anxiety reached sky-high levels due to the massive amount of time I spent reading the news, watching the news, and imagining that I was on the news.

I could hide behind my successful career, smiling everywhere I went, pretending life was okay. However, threadbare garments only last so long before they are in shreds and eventually the curtain came down. Unless you were close to me you may never have noticed that something was amiss.

Anxiety, what does it feel like? For me, it feels like I'm running a marathon, except I don't know what mile marker I'm at. My chest tightens, my pulse quickens, I try to breathe deeply but usually it comes up short. At times, in my most severe anxiety attacks, I have felt like a CD or DVD that is scratched and so the same line or word keeps repeating.