Journaling for Self-Renewal
Read Time: 4 Minutes
Words by Nicole Annette // Image by Tuesday's Child Photography
I believe in the power of renewal and that we must begin with ourselves first. Self-depletion and burnout is common among women and we often need gentle reminders to nourish ourselves first.
Creating a journaling practice allows us to hold space for ourselves and renew our spirits. In this story, I seek to share my journey of journaling for self-renewal.
There are times in our lives when we feel broken and lost. There are moments when all that we deem true transforms into a painful reality and it seems that TRUTH no longer exists.
Ten years ago, the truth as I knew it unraveled. It was June 2012 and I was visiting my family in Ohio. I was there for 10 days when I began to notice that I was losing major weight. I'd lost 14 lbs. in 14 days and when I returned home, I began to deteriorate physically, mentally and emotionally.
First, I noticed my loss of strength. I was holding my one-year-old son in my arms while descending the stairs after a church service. Before I reached the bottom of the stairs, my knees buckled and I slowly sank to the floor. My muscles had simply given out and I was unable to regain my strength until help came. Later that week, I attempted to open a bottle of Welch's Grape Juice and found the task impossible. I had grown mysteriously weak.
Soon after, I began experiencing more symptoms. My heart rate increased and my neck began to swell. I became depressed and experienced fatigue, mental fog, debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. My skin discolored and my hair began to fall out. I'd lost my self confidence and self-esteem.
I felt trapped in the shadow of the strong woman I had once been.
In August 2012, I decided to go to the ER and discovered that I had advanced Grave's Disease which is a thyroid disease. This impacted my life greatly for two years. After trying a number of solutions, I was facing a life and death situation and I needed to make a decision quickly.
I could choose surgery to remove my thyroid, or I could choose radiation treatment to remove my thyroid. As a natural wellness person, both of these options seemed just terrible! Eventually after many tears and conversations I opted to have the radiation treatment. This treatment forced me to enter isolation from all human contact for 10 days. My baby visited my parents 500 miles away and my husband slept in our garage-turned office space. I was alone and all I had was God, my pen, and my journal.
Without anything else to do, I drowned myself in my words. I was very depressed at this time and all I could see was darkness and mental fog. So I began to reach for the surface one word at a time.
Journaling is such a powerful habit. In my life, journaling has been a constant companion. Writing has always been the tether that connects me to my truth. During this season of pain in my life, I knew that my only way to survive was to lean into the pain and loss I was experiencing. So I began to ask myself questions and then write my answers. I believe that writing is a nourishing and self-compassionate act that cultivates the tending of our hearts and souls. The essence of who we are unfolds with every sentence and our thoughts become tangible and malleable when they are allowed to take up space on the page.
For most of my adult life, I've lived a fast-paced, high-octane-whirlwind of an overwhelming life. I've placed myself under the unnecessary pressure of perfectionism and having to "do it all." Burn-out was my constant companion and self-care was a lovely concept I could only dream of.
Graves’ Disease stopped me in my tracks and I was forced to come eye to eye with the ways I had allowed myself to become depleted.
Those 10 days of isolation were the greatest of gifts. It gave me space to become aware of the withered places in my body, mind, heart and soul. Journaling provided the source of renewal that I needed so much in that season. I'm thankful to say that I'm once again that strong and confident woman, but tempered with the gifts of empathy, grace, compassion and humility.
The foundation of renewal is self-awareness. Understanding our thoughts, feelings and behaviors and how they align to create our lives is a powerful experience. Knowing what we need in the moment and being able to provide that need is a life-changing practice.
Journaling is the key to self-awareness. It's the portal through which we can observe and accept the beautiful truth of our stories. Our stories shape our lives and when we're able to make the connection between our stories and our current actions, we'll begin to see patterns emerge and only then we can intentionally create the life we want to live.
I still live with a chronic illness, but I've made it my purpose and intention to cultivate a personal and effective self-care practice and now, I inspire other women to do the same.
As women, many of us have the desire to serve others but often times we serve others to the detriment of our own wellbeing.
I believe that it's impossible to sustainably serve those we love and care for if we don't first nourish ourselves. We don't have to live burned-out, overwhelmed, stressed and withered versions of our lives. We can live a life of renewal and peace, of joy and confidence.
Journaling is a self-care practice that I choose everyday. I live a simple, well nourished and peaceful life by staying connected to my core values. Journaling has been a life-giving and sustainable resource for me and I enjoy teaching others how to harness the power of their words so that they can FLOURISH and effectively nourish those they love, care for and serve.
This story is part of our overall mission to help women feel less alone in their experiences.
We believe that when we share the honest parts of our lives, it gives other women the courage to say “me, too” and we begin to change the conversation around the world.
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About the Author:
Nicole Annette is a boy-mom, wife, nature lover, coffee & herbal tea drinker, writer, mentor and introverted deep-thinker. She's the creative CEO of Journal Junky®, a journal coaching and publishing company, and hosts The Journal Coaching Podcast. Nicole has been journaling for over 30 years and enjoys teaching her community how to use the transformative power of the Intentional Journaling Practice to create the flourishing life and business they desire.
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