Becoming a mother helped me to become more whole. It helped my broken parts find homes while walking through fire. Fire, the creator of life, ushered my son into this world, but it also formed his mother. My walk through pregnancy was not an easy walk, as it is not for many.

Miscarriage is like receiving an invitation to a party you never wanted to be invited to, and your RSVP has already been checked. You have no choice but to attend.

Pregnancy is a daunting topic to write about. There are so many strong emotions connected to the act of carrying another life, growing a life inside your body. At 20 weeks pregnant, I am learning the beauty and pain of pregnancy.

I didn’t know how to communicate it, and I guess nobody in my world knew the right questions to ask. I guess I thought the constant hum of worry over everything and nothing in the back of my mind was just...motherhood.

The women I see who display their love of motherhood say they want as many children as they can carry. They feel someone is missing. They see an empty chair at their table. I love my children. I love motherhood. But I know my limits. I don’t want one more.

They say that everyone grieves differently. There is the obvious sadness, and of course all the other emotions - denial, anger, bargaining... acceptance. I have felt all of those and seems like more, but I can finally say I am reaching acceptance. Finally.